May 8 2024 - After this last entry, I took a long break from music discovery for twelve days. I returned with The Eternal Fall's second album, The Sadness, which I did not like as much as the first album. The vocals seem clearer here and it's not a good thing because the vocal style is overall more forceful, which I dislike. When you combine this with repetitive lyrics, it gets old. I simply had to remove two of the tracks because they were just the vocalist singing the same thing dozens of times in a row pretty much. Without those I love the album. I think I neglected to mention Sleepy Hollow's self-titled release, but that one is great too, and really up there for me in terms of gothic rock.

After this break, for the rest of the month it was music other than goth for me. The Broken Toys by Bad Pollyanna is an alternative rock album, and I never really listen to stuff like that, but it's what I was in the mood for and it hit the spot. It's much more pop-oriented than usual for me, but I enjoy the heavy riffs, female vocals, and overall dark themes. One review I read criticized it for its constant "overall depressing, almost sinister tone" and "constant dark mood" with lyrics "moody and negative". Ahahahaahahah.

Riding off of that stuff, I looked for more dark alternative-rockish type music with female vocals and was able to find Witches by One-Eyed Doll. I have no interest in any other work by this artist, but this particular release is a concept album about the Salem witch trials. It's relatively eclectic and thus a bit inconsistent, but in this case it works for me. I like every track in some way, even though some are short, some are long, some are feisty and riff-focused, and some are slower and reflective. It makes for a cool experience and this is currently my second favorite metal album, behind another metal concept album with occult themes and female vocals... Afterward, I found another metal album, which I shamelessly listened to because of the name of the artist: Alice in Darkland's The Evil's Entrails. This is a death-doom release, and I don't adore it, but it's one of those where there is something alluring about it that keeps me coming back. I will guess that it won't be forever and I probably won't listen to this after some time, but right now I have appreciation for it, as it's actually quite atmospheric, and it uses some spooky instruments, as well as utilizing lots of unique timing.

Now May has come and I have entered my seventh goth wave, as well as fallen in love with goth music for probably the 13th time. First is Ars Magica by Dead Souls Rising, which is darkwave, but it's just weird. Like, it's sort of darkwave for lack of a better term. It goes past being just plain old ominous and spooky into being scary at times. It's a unique and interesting listen that I enjoy. Next is Night's Plutonian Shore by The Bloodcult, which is another weird darkwave album. This one features a lengthy organ intro track and a music box interlude, with a seventeen-minute final track. It has vampire themes, some screaming that honestly works, and the cover art's got a goth doing a pose in a graveyard. It's a very 90s, very great release. Then I listened to yet another weird darkwave album called All the Colors of Death by Blooding Mask. This one has a lot more neoclassical influence and is quite long. To be honest, I haven't listened to it actively yet... just three times passively. But each time I enjoyed every single thing I heard.

After that I listened to a real obscure one called Dichroic Mirror by the band of the same name. This is raw low-budget gothic rock which I tend to enjoy, because it's stripped back and heavily focused on that goth guitar sound and the bass and stuff. Then I realized this was released on tape and their first actual CD uses half of the songs from this and updates them. Gah!!! Now I don't know if I should listen to this or that or both or neither. Are these the true versions of the songs?? I don't know. And the latest album to enter my top 100 ranking is Corpus Delicti's Obsessions, which I had technically listened to before but only once and I didn't remember anything. I just remembered that I liked it on first listen better than I liked Sylphes, their second album, on first listen. That remains true! I instantly loved this as a part of Corpus Delicti's discography, although in classic fashion I needed to alter the tracklist after listening. This time, it wasn't because I thought any songs didn't fit and needed to be removed. Just the order was changed later on in rereleases and I thought it made sense to incorporate the hidden track and bonus track, which I liked both of. I think I will grow to like this one a lot on subsequent listens. This album has given me the ability to say that Corpus Delicti is indeed one of my favorite bands. There is still a bunch of non-studio album work out there of theirs to get into though... but ANYWAY! I hope I will continue to find goth album after goth album to fall in love with as I am doing currently!

Apr 7 2024 - For the past few days I have felt a bit burned out from listening to so much goth music, and music in general. It's been a gradual but consistent decline since January when I was going wacko. And just having some adult responsibility stuff going on. Ugh. But there still have been many albums in the past month I have gotten into.

First, I was listening to some ethereal stuff, such as Primrose by Mors Syphilitica and Idylls by Love Spirals Downwards. I do particularly like these but I don't find myself coming back to them and wanting to listen for active enjoyment... it's just not what I've been in the mood for I suppose. A Day in the Stark Corner by Lycia, however, I have come to appreciate more. It might be something about the album title and/or cover that doesn't draw me in, but the music itself is really nice. I suppose it is something about the presentation that makes the experience feel less dark and mysterious to me, but I'll come around to it in time.

Nocturne by Paralysed Age is a much more traditional gothic rock release, and I found it quickly accessible and enjoyable. I think a lot of riffs stood out to me, which makes it catchy. The song X-Mas-X in particular was in my head for hours at one point. Of course, this is not a dancy album, it's still plenty gloomy but it's got that groove to it, similar to things like Forever Grey. Not in terms of it being minimal wave, but by being groovy while still being desolate. Around the same time, I started listening to Salamand by Still Patient?. The first time I heard it I knew I liked it all throughout for being... just very 90s. It's purely gothic rock and I like releases like that. It's just solid.

I relistened to something I had listened to before called Come Out of the Dark by 13 Candles. This album has a LOT of shit to take out, mostly pointless remixes, none of which I ever listened to (bite me, all remixes are pointless), and a couple of other ones. Even then I still find it a bit inconsistent, but it's a very raw mid-90s gothic rock release that comes from a place I vibe with. My favorite track has got to be the title track. (Word "gloom" mentioned=favorite.) Also listened to Bird Without Wings by Diary of Dreams for the third time, paying much more attention this time, and I found myself enjoying its details so much more. I actually didn't like the first two tracks nearly as much as like, any other Diary of Dreams tracks, and the final track I dislike so much that I decided at the end of my second listen that it had to go, but the third track I found to be just wonderful, and I enjoyed every single one afterward as well. My expectations are shifting each time and I'm very gradually liking it more, as with every Diary of Dreams album so far.

Came across a gothic rock album that I just had to listen to as soon as I found it, which is The Eternal Fall by the band of the same name. I was floored by this album. Kept expecting to be disappointed, but every second that passed made it more and more excellent. It's not high concept or theatrical or bombastic or anything. It's very subdued and unassuming. That's exactly what I like about it. It's got that quality of melancholy that I am constantly on the hunt for, the sense of hopelessness. It might be the most raw gothic rock album I've ever heard. My impression is that it seems to epitomize the genre. The cover is a graveyard that's washed out by this bright pink/purple filter, which instantly makes it feel otherworldly on top of its theme of death. The music is relentlessly dolorous, meandering and monotone, with the gothiest sounding guitar possible, focus on bass, voice quietly wailing in the background, and all the sounds brewed together in reverb. This might end up being one of my favorite albums of all time. If only I had the lyrics.

Now onto the "goth-adjacent" stuff I've been getting into! My long-lasting passive interest for neoclassical darkwave has been rewarded. Royaume Mélancolique by Dark Sanctuary is my non-soundtrack introduction to the genre, coming out to over an hour with only 9 tracks, resulting in some colossal track lengths, which I like. Am beginning to grow fond of these sorts of classical instruments being put to the forefront, like piano and of course strings, but also organ and church bells, both of which are utilized a bit here. I enjoy the dark and grand atmosphere with the ethereal female vocals. It sounds beautiful and haunting, like a hidden castle far away that only seems to be there at night, inhabited by ancient ghosts. My favorites are probably Night Rain and Maze.

Another neoclassical darkwave album I have listened to over and over is Night Thoughts by Gothica. With much shorter track lengths and a much shorter album length, it's not nearly as grand as the previous mention, and I find it harder to pinpoint the reasons I love this one. It's just really my thing. I love all the synthesized sounds like the strings, harpsichord, choir, organ, and everything. Most of the instruments I find really pleasing, again paired with female vocals, although there are some male ones. This album is quite varied and different, but I find it very alluring and it's pretty much my shit.

From the top of RYM's recommended page for me one day came MALICE MIZER's 薔薇の聖堂— Bara no Seidou, or Cathedral of Roses. This one activated instant adoration in me. It's VERY shamelessly and almost ridiculously gothic, with constant use of organs and choirs. Intensely melodramatic and spooky. I've only listened to it twice as I'm typing this so I can't describe it in detail yet but what it gave me is something I so often yearn for, which is that spoooky dark Halloweeny vampiric KITSCH. It's brilliant and I fucking love it. (Also, I realized that on the band member list, it said Mana, and I thought, "that Mana? The gothic lolita Mana?" Yes, that Mana. What a legend.) Lastly, I think I finally, legitimately got into another metal album at least a tiny bit, being Abysmal Grief by the band of the same name. The things that stand out to me are again, the organs and the church bells, which now bring me instant joy when I hear them in music. This one is really doom metal, but probably has influence from gothic metal. The vocals never veer into death growl territory, or any growl territory, really. I think they're all clean, which makes them "safe" from the potential of being the specific types of unclean vocals I have distaste for (which isn't all of them!). Hopefully this leads to more metal I enjoy later on. That's it for now!

Mar 9 2024 - In my sixth goth wave now. Ending out the last one was the release of Twin Tribes' Pendulum, as well as Selected Scenes from the End of the World by London After Midnight. Pendulum I like, but not as much as their previous work, mostly because I am biased in favor of the older stuff, because it's what got me into this music in the first place. I think regardless of that, it's largely even still more synthpop and post-punk inspired, which is the direction I see most newer goth stuff taking. Highlights for me from this release are Cauldron of Thorns and Meadow.

As for the LAM album, I originally listened to the version that was first released, but then I listened to the 2003 rerelease, and I find this version to be much better. Firstly, because it's produced better, secondly, because there are more songs which I adore, and lastly, because it doesn't repeat one of the songs like on the original release. It's also got a better cover! I view it as just superior. I remember listening to the newer rerelease, called 9119 or something, so I already had impressions of these songs, but this was a much more self-contained release that truly allows the songs to thrive. I find myself liking the album more as it goes on, with my absolute favorites being The Black Cat and Demon, although the song Sacrifice just oozes gothiness and is delightful too. This album is quintessential gothic rock.

In February, beginning my sixth goth wave was Diary of Dreams' second album, End of Flowers. I pretty much like it just as much as Cholymelan. The song lengths are increased and it extends the length of the album to over 70 minutes, all of which I adore. It makes it all the more obscure and mysterious. It's been such a joy to explore. My favorite tracks are Willow and especially Deviation. There are so many stunningly beautiful moments here. I have listened to the third album, and my feelings were nowhere near as positive, but I take that as a challenge. This music is difficult to access, the tracks are long, the albums are long, and there are very many of them. Have to give myself time to appreciate each one.

This was followed by To Bestial Gods... by This Burning Effigy, which I never hear anyone talk about. I was immediately drawn into its mysterious, sinister, and menacing gothic rock sound. The production on this one is murky in a good way. There is no "sheen", no transparency. The ingredients are blended into a cauldron, opaque and black. I have accessed it quite a lot at this point and I definitely like some tracks more than others. For this one, it's like a curve, or a dip in the middle, and I like the album most at its beginning and end sections rather than the middle. My favorite has got to be Emeritus. The riff is brilliantly spooky. I find this to be a standout gothic rock album and am very fond of its haunting guitar that echoes despair and reverberates with secrets.

Next was Underworld by The Machine in the Garden, which was initially daunting because of its 16-track length. I found that in later parts of the album, it changed drastically in tone in a way that was jarring and uninviting. I found out that the songs which caused me to feel this way were previously released ones which were redone. The album also included tracks that were the same songs as earlier in the album, but redone as well. All this stuff is necessary, and when removed, it turns it into a much more manageable and consistent 12-track album, and this is how I have listened to it since.

Underworld is what I want in darkwave. It's dreary, reveling in thoughts of death and darkness. Each track is actually quite different in style to each other, I find, with some of the album being more gothic rock inspired, some having percussion lead the way, some being completely drumless, some even coldwave inspired. There are parts with changing time signatures, changing tempos, overlapping vocals, and unusual chord timing. It all makes the album quite fresh as an experience. All of it is in minor key, which is very important for me. There are both female and male vocals, although the female vocalist takes the main spot with her beautiful, ethereal voice and even more beautiful, ethereal lyrics. This album very quickly became a favorite.

I also listened to The Frozen Autumn's third album, Emotional Screening Device. I do really like it, although it sacrifices some of the group's previous darkwave focus for more synthpop. While Pale Awakening was longer and more atmospheric, and Fragments of Memories was shorter and more catchy, this feels like it's going for the length of Pale Awakening while still retaining the more catchy and dancy feel of Fragments of Memories. I don't dislike it. Each album of theirs has taken me a long time to get into, so I suppose this is no different in that regard. There are no parts I don't enjoy, and maybe it just needs more time to fully grow on me.

One that I was really looking forward to and then immediately completely adored upon first listen was Cold Memories & Remains by Violet Tears. Apart from just the blissfully dismal album and artist titles, the music is truly grand and magical ethereal wave. The best word I can use to describe this album is poetic, in large part because of the elegantly written lyrics, and the passion and grace with which they are sung. This album achieves an intensely romantic, gothic beauty. I can just hardly wait to learn all the lyrics to truly appreciate the artistry of the album without having to read along anymore. My favorite track is Eternal Nights. Am very much a sucker for that kind of deep bassline. This album sounds like it came straight out of the 90s, which makes it surprising that it was released in 2006, when goth music had practically been wiped out by industrial. But because of that, it means this album is my first 2000s goth album that I really like that wasn't, like, an extension of what was coming out in the 90s.

Something that has happened is that I've gotten into a soundtrack, which I've never really done before. It's the soundtrack for American McGee's Alice. I think listening to this put me in the mood to listen to dark ambient once more, and I for some reason was reminded of an album I had listened to years prior, called Copula by Atom Infant Incubator. I found it very forgettable back then, but it turned out to be exactly what I was looking for now, and I have been listening to it pretty incessantly. It is very obscure, which makes it feel like a world cloaked in deep, dark shadows, in which I must feel my surroundings to find my way around, in the same way that I must pay attention to the miniscule details of the tracks to learn of their hidden beauty. There is a vast allure to music like this, and I have been reminded of why I love dark ambient. It inspires me to write about nightmares and secrets.

Lastly, I learned what sound a toy piano makes, and went, aaaahhhh that's what they used so often in Alice, and what Pram used. I love this childlike and eerie quality that it can have. I want one.

Jan 27 2024 - My current goth wave, my fifth, has been so abundant. Usually one wave contains around ten or eleven albums or so, but there have now been seventeen so far in the past few months. That means seventeen new goth albums that I have been actively into recently and that I have particularly liked. That's leaving off some that I didn't quite love or haven't listened to enough yet, and of course a lot that I listened to and didn't like. I have still got a whole lot to listen to, but this wave is nearing its end.

The ones that I liked from last time are Masked, which I like a bit, Shadow, which I like a little bit as well, and Rise, which I LOVE. Rise has grown on me a lot. It's long but really high quality all throughout, and they really exemplify the stereotype of 90s goth being cheesy and derivative, but in a great way. It's like, yeah, we're gothic, and we're proud of it. It leans into it really hard which I love. After that, I found one called The Hating Tree by Autumn, which is more of a blend between gothic rock and ethereal wave. I love this one too, although I definitely enjoy some songs more than others. Of Moondrop Tears is a clear least favorite for me, because of how major and therefore positive it sounds. But it's not bad, and it makes the album unique.

Upon listening to Witching Hour more, I decided to listen to the material from the band that I hadn't listened to before, which consisted of She's Alive and Raven. She's Alive is a short EP that consists of three original songs and then a remix of a previous song which I don't care for. I like all of these. Every song from this period sounds really really similar but I don't care I like all of them. Then there is Raven, which they released over fifteen years later... this album isn't bad, and it definitely still keeps the same soul of the band, but I think it needs a remaster or something, because yikes that production is rough. Witching Hour's music has always been raw, and you would think the production would have gotten better over time, but they must have been more independent or low-budget at the time, because you can really hear it. Also, the vocals are lacking much of the energy that was previously there. I think I'd love it just as much as all their other stuff if it were released in the same period, because I have no issue with the songs themselves. So that's a bit disappointing.

An album that I began listening to and slowly grew lots on me was Cholymelan by Diary of Dreams. (It took me too long to realize that's melancholy backwards.) I wish I could remember how I found this, but I know I heard/saw the artist name somewhere and was intrigued by that. It could have been everynoiseatonce, but I'm not sure. This is a darkwave album, but it was a lot different from anything I had heard before. It was pretty minimal, but not simple. Understated, but not boring. Uncomplicated, but not accessible. And surely, it's very mysterious and atmospheric. To me right now, this sort of lies on the border between darkwave and electro-industrial, and it has made me become more interested in industrial music that was released at the time. It took me many listens to access, but something about it kept me coming back, and I really love this album now. I'm excited to explore Diary of Dreams' discography more in the future.

After that, I finally decided to try Lycia, and began with Wake, which is classified as an album but is really more of an EP, which sounds pretty demo to me. However, Ionia is different. I didn't fall in love with this album on first listen. Maybe my second or third. This is ethereal wave. I used to think Pale Awakening was pretty ethereal, but I hadn't listened to this yet. Ionia is very dark, atmospheric, and gorgeous. Some ethereal, like an album I've also recently listened to a couple times and liked, Within the Depths of a Darkened Forest by Autumn's Grey Solace, can sound a bit too positive for my personal taste, but this is magic that sounds like a mysterious night. Really love this, and am also excited to explore the discography of Lycia.

After this has come a few albums that I have listened to several times each in the past, but never fell in love with until now, those being: Fragments of Memories by The Frozen Autumn, An Eye For The Main Chance by Rosetta Stone, and Sylphes by Corpus Delicti.

Fragments of Memories used to be one of those second albums of a discography of a darkwave artist that I was mixed on, like Head Over Heels by Cocteau Twins and Thalia by Mephisto Walz, but now I love it. It is more varied than Pale Awakening, and I definitely don't like it as much, but after gaining so much more context, I relistened and suddenly it just clicked. Dusk is Like a Dagger is amazing. Again: so excited for more The Frozen Autumn!!

An Eye For The Main Chance used to be way too, like, energetic for me, and it's definitely on the far end of that spectrum, but I've gradually started to find most of the songs really enjoyable. I can completely do without the cover on there, and I don't really like Heart and Soul, but stuff like Shadow, Deeper, the title track, Subterfuge... great stuff. Also such great album art. This band actually made a comeback pretty recently I think, so that's cool and something to look forward to.

Sylphes I was so meh on for so long, compared to the adoration I have for Twilight, and, again, it's so much more varied in sound. It's also inconsistent to me, and I think the album is better without the tracks Circle, which is so whatever, and Private Slaughter is a cool track on paper, but not as much to actually listen to. Besides those, now listening more closely, I think I compared it to Twilight too much, and some of the things they tried are actually cool, such as The Lake, The Smile of Grace, which is lacking percussion I think, and the title track, which uses some outside influence. I also finally looked at the lyrics, and was like. Ah. Okay yes I do love this now. Especially the lyrics of Saraband. This actually is the Corpus Delicti that I loved so much on Twilight, I finally get it.

In the middle there I also discovered an album called Under a Clouded Sky by Bay Laurel, which I don't super love like some of these other ones, but is a very solid gothic rock release. It's a bit too "hard rock-y" and not as atmospheric for my taste, but they have great lyrics. I forgot to mention that I did finally listen to Risen by The Awakening, by figuring out how to use Soulseek for the first time, and I tried really hard to like this album, but I just couldn't get into it. Again, it's too hard rock for me. It is gothic rock, yes, but just barely for me personally. I have heard or seen a couple things that the band did afterward, so I am wanting to check out later stuff at some point to see if their sound changed into something that is more my preference.

Lastly, Twin Tribes' new album Pendulum was released just yesterday, and I listened to it within an hour of it being made available while going on a walk at 3 am. It's great. I liked it even more upon relisten just a bit earlier. Of course I don't love it as much as Shadows or Ceremony, at least yet, cause those are what really got me into goth, so I'm biased. But yeah, I totally love it. This is the first goth album that I have waited for and listened on release, and it's also from the band that got me into goth to begin with, so it was pretty special. Hoping to have more like that.

So yeah, what I've really been listening to lately is 90s stuff, and from this wave, I think that's where the majority of my preference lies. It's just so mysterious and horror-influenced and well-realized, a lot of it. Compared to newer stuff, it's less dancey, less electronic, less straightforward and accessible, and there's nothing wrong with being those things, but I prefer this older style right now. That being said, I am now a bit interested in listening to more things closer to industrial, such as EBM and Futurepop, and more darkwave that's closer to that area. Late 90s and early 00s stuff. I have so much to listen to and I'm very excited to get into it. I fucking love goth music.

Jan 2 2024 - After becoming interested in Vaporwave, I realized what I really wanted was to find something that sounded anything like Alien Wildlife Estate. This album's primary genre on RYM is classified as Hypnagogic Pop. So, I steered my way away from Vaporwave and Mallsoft, and into Hypnagogia... and after a few days, found the album Aqua Temple by New Mexican Stargazers. This gave me a similar feeling of weird, surreal otherworldliness that I was searching for. This has become my new standard for Hypnagogic Pop, and now I want to get into every other album by this artist. I'm actively interested in all of their work, and so I started at the beginning, with Desert's Zenith. This one I don't like nearly as much, but I can hear some of the bones of what would come later, and it's still good.

The other band I am actively interested in exploring the entire discography of is Whispers in the Shadow. Laudanum has become my current favorite goth album, and now I have listened to their second album, November, twice. I love it as well. Not as much, but compared to most music I listen to, it's way up there. Whereas Laudanum is pretty consistently amazing all throughout, November has an intro track, and a few different feelings and sounds thrown in there. The final three tracks take up about half the album's runtime, and they're the highlight for me. It's just a more varied album and they tried out some interesting stuff, which is cool.

As for everything else, I am now firmly in my fifth goth wave, and have been discovering and listening to a slew of gothic rock albums. Pretty much all of these I found on a list compiling goth stuff on RYM. First of all is Pilgrims by Morbid Poetry. I definitely like this one a lot. It has low production quality, and its songs fade out far too quickly for my taste, but it's really quality stuff. I enjoyed it even more after I emailed the band asking for lyrics and they sent me a file with all of them. Having the words in front of me to follow along enhances the experience so much!!

From there, I then listened to: Masked by The Wake, which I like in the same way as First and Last and Always by The Sisters of Mercy, although I enjoy the latter more currently, probably because I listened to it first; Asleep Within Waves by Autumn Cathedral, which incorporated a few unusual influences, and sounded a bit more positive, with higher use of major keys; Shadow by Fearing, which is much more recent than the others as it was released in this decade rather than the 80s or 90s, and I remember sounding a bit mellow but still definitely gothic; and Rise by Nösferätu, which is quite long but I enjoyed all throughout as a solid gothic rock release. Of this list, I've only listened to Masked twice, and all the others only one time, and I'm in the process of relistening to these to build a stronger opinion of them. I also REALLY want to listen to an album called Risen by The Awakening, but I cannot find it for free anywhere, so I might purchase it directly from the band's website.

Dec 16 2023 - New developments in the past few days! I have rediscovered the album Alien Wildlife Estate by Tarzana and fallen in love with it. I believe it was just a couple days ago that I was looking at my top albums I discovered in 2023, and wondering if I'd forgotten it, or if I'd just listened to it in 2022. Or something like that. I was reminded of it like that in some way. And just decided to relisten to it. This album is brilliant. I've never heard anything else that sounds even close to it. It sounds like a completely alien planet, and the presentation of the album, in the way of its title, the song titles, the artist name, and the cover art, all contribute to this.

From this, I learned the term hypnagogic pop, and also learned that it was something that grew into vaporwave. Which is something I never learned about before. So I did! I watched a few videos on it and have listened to a few albums. After going through its subgenres, Mallsoft stood out to me as something I may be particularly interested in. Lately, it seems that I have become interested in sounds that are associated with being old, but have been reused and changed into something new. Like lounge music, or exotica. I'm not actually interested in listening to these genres as they were popular decades ago. I'm interested in music that takes their influence and morphs it into something weird.

So vaporwave makes total sense. It's all about taking past sounds, literally, by sampling them, and shifting them into a different art form. Mallsoft specifically is about evoking the feeling of being in a shopping mall. Something about vaporwave is feeling much different to me in vibe compared to all other music. It's how direct the influence is of consumerist culture... it's taking something originally meant solely for commercial purposes and showing how odd of a mood it creates when listened to on its own. It's both quaint and unnerving. I don't know much about consumerist culture, probably because I am so ingrained within it that it's difficult for me to look from an outside perspective. But I believe this type of art is trying to tell me something that I must think about more.

I've started off with very popular ones to get a feel for what this all is and give myself an easy access. Obligatory Floral Shoppe. Then Hologram Plaza by Disconscious, and 슈퍼마켓Yes! We’re Open by 식료품groceries, which are the popular Mallsoft ones. I have liked these more as they have gone on, with Yes! We're Open being my favorite. Being so sample-based, I don't know how I feel about ranking this stuff or how I will feel about it down the line. This might be something I am into for a bit then fall out of, or it might be something that leads me into other stuff that I grow into, or maybe I will keep getting really into this and loving it. It's a lot less dark than what I usually look for, so far. But the surreal, strange vibe is definitely there. I have been to malls (slash a mall) in my life, so I can't discount nostalgia as a factor for my enjoyment. Mallsoft is dreamy and evocative of childhood for someone my age. Yeah!! I love music.

Dec 9 2023 - I am going through a huuuge music discovery period. In terms of the current goth wave, the albums are If There's No Heaven... by DECEITS, slow/soft Tomb For Two by Lebanon Hanover, and then this newest one, Laudanum by Whispers in the Shadow. Holy fuck I adore this album. I have currently listened to it twice and holding myself back from spamming it because I want to take my time approaching and appreciating its beauty. I adore every second of it, and I'm very excited to get more into this band.

But apart from goth, I'm really attempting to broaden my taste in music. I have changed a whole lot about my ranking, and it looks very different now. I have created a standardized rating system for music, for my use, for the first time. As for genres, I'm trying to take things that I've already liked for a long time, and really dig into what I like about them. I am developing an understanding of what I like in music, gaining an intuition of what genres mean, and actively delving into those genres.

From artists like Tim Hecker and zoviet france, we have dark ambient. I remember listening to an album a while back called The Cancelled Earth by Cities Last Broadcast, and I liked the mood but couldn't access it much. Now I have gained a new appreciation for darkness, and the atmosphere is so much more haunting and beautiful to me. This will be my standard for what dark ambient can be, and I'd like to find more like it.

From my beloved album Low Birth Weight, as well as other albums tagged the same, we have ambient pop. As a mix of the two, it is a spectrum, and it varies how far toward ambient an artist is willing to go. Recently I have discovered the albums Nektyr by Demen, and A Dark Place by Tor Lundvall. Nektyr is the one I highly enjoy, while A Dark Place I don't much. A Dark Place is very much from a pop perspective. The songs are easily digestible, repetitive, accessible, consistent medium length. It's mostly in the lyrics that it carries its dark themes, although I can't discount its quiet, moody tone. Nektyr, however, goes much further to the ambient side, and is much more atmospheric, surreal, and simply gorgeous. I'd like to find more things that take this accessibility, this toxic happiness of pop, and twist it into something dark, alien, and melancholy.

Then from my long-time favorite Pink by Four Tet, I have learned of many new terms. This album has always been an outlier for me, since it focuses on electronic beats at its core. But the reason I liked it was because I always got a sense of atmosphere from it, a strange mood that wasn't like Earth. RYM has deemed it "Tech House", "Future Garage", "Microhouse", "Dubstep", "Deep Tech"... but through some looking, I have found some genres that I was really looking for. Minimal Techno, Ambient Techno. And then of course it has overlap with IDM, or, you know, Braindance. I quickly found an album to listen to, Ghosts by Monolake, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It's exactly what I wanted. There is something uncanny about this mixture of a rhythm, which one might usually dance to and have fun with, and the eerie noises and accompany it, transforming it into something unfamiliar, creepy. I hope to find more like this in the future, maybe going through this particular artist's discography.

Ah, and then there's metal. I really want to get into metal. There's something about it that makes it feel less accessible to me than other genres. Perhaps I'm not used to the aggression it often carries. Luckily, there is a genre called "Atmospheric Black Metal", and while scrolling through Bandcamp, I spotted an artist called Fathomless Misery. That sounds like my thing, I thought. I put on the album Descent of Slow Suffering. Then again, and again. (Not in a row, I've just listened a few times at this point.) This is definitely my favorite black metal that I've heard so far. Whenever I discover a new metal album that I actively enjoy, it's a huge success. So, in the future, I would like to get more into this, but hopefully also forms of death, doom, and gothic metal.

Finally, I just relistened to the Piano Magic albums I have heard before, which are Artists' Rifles, their 4th, followed by A Trick of the Sea, their 2nd. Piano Magic made my 3rd and 4th favorite albums, which respectively are Popular Mechanics, their 1st album, and Low Birth Weight, their 3rd album. I have loved these for a long time. I remember A Trick of the Sea being repetitive, and Artists' Rifles having lost the surrealness. A Trick of the Sea was much better than I remembered, as I listened closely and paid attention to the details. It entered my top 100 ranking. However, Artists' Rifles I still dislike overall. It's mixed, as I actually do enjoy half the tracks, so if those were on their own then it would be a good EP for me. But the rest of them have got something that doesn't work for me, and that brings the album down as a whole. I remember even trying to listen to the album they made after this, and I couldn't get far through that before saying yeah haha nope. But, now I'm willing to give it another chance, so I think I will soon, as well as some of their other newer material. It's a musical collective, so I believe they had many lineup changes, especially earlier on, or so I've seen, which would explain why their sound changed so many times. But maybe there is still some good stuff hidden there, I don't know.

(I know this is meant to be a microblog but I'm so into music lately that I had to ramble about everything.)

Nov 20 2023 - Next release, Treasure by Cocteau Twins, is not my thing. It is not bad but it seems they got rid of pretty much all the darkness, and it sounds much too bright for me. Not for me. However, I also found a new goth album, called If There's No Heaven... by Deceits. It is actually new, because it just came out a few weeks ago! Influenced by Seventeen Seconds, Faith, and Pornography era The Cure which is my shit and also Asylum Party which is ALSO my shit!! It's great stuff. Also influenced by some other things that I may check out.

Also, I forgot to mention this but overall this is something I have noticed for years: I tend to like longer tracks. Like, on any given album, I more often than not enjoy the longer tracks more than the shorter ones. I think it's because the ones that are longer have more time to build up their own atmosphere, and that's what I really go for with music a lot of the time.

Nov 16 2023 - Head Over Heels by Cocteau Twins. Have listened a few times now, but this time I paid closer attention to which tracks I like and which ones I don't. It turns out, I pretty much half like this album. My favorite is easily "Five Ten Fiftyfold", which I find to be a very beautiful song. I also enjoy "The Tinderbox" and "My Love Paramour", with "In the Gold Dust Rush" closely behind. The opening and ending tracks, "When Mama Was Moth" and "Musette and Drums", respectively, are pretty decent. "In Our Angelhood" and "Glass Candle Grenades" are whatever to me. I do not like "Sugar Hiccup" or "Multifoiled". So, pretty mixed feelings. When I end up listening to the next release, I hope I will find it to be more consistent.

Nov 5 2023 - Pram's most recent album, Across The Meridian, was released in 2018. Relistened to it earlier, for the first time, because I'd only listened to it once before, two years ago. Enjoyed it more than I did back then, definitely. The first time, I was really into Helium and Sargasso Sea. Those are still my favorites, but now I've had time to distance myself away from them more, take their other albums as their own things, and not compare them quite as much. Across The Meridian is different, but in the way all of Pram's albums are different from each other: it has its own unique identity while still sounding undeniably like Pram. Sam Owen does a scarily good job at sounding like Rosie Cuckston. She really tries keeping the vocal style the same as it always was, and she succeeds.

This is not an album that sounds like they are trying to return to a past sound that they have since evolved from, and it also doesn't sound like they are trying something new or bold. It really sounds like they just picked off where they left off with The Moving Frontier, which is impressive after such a long gap. There are small hints of a more electronic sound, but they are quickly balanced out by Pram's signature use of eclectic traditional instruments. It feels like a very natural progression for the band and like they were having a good time making it, so I really appreciate this album. Definitely will take my time getting into it. As well as all their other music, since I am brainrotting HARD for this band right now.

Nov 2 2023 - Very firmly out of my most recent goth wave (my fourth) now. Currently, am not in the mood to discover more goth music, because I suppose I've found enough to satisfy me right now, although I am in a music discovery mood. Just for stuff more like Pram instead. Currently falling in love with their debut album and the full-length Gash release, the latter of which I have just listened to for the first time. I've never listened to a Pram release before that doesn't sound like the band to me, but it makes sense, as it's early demos. Pram have such a distinct sound, and hearing what they sounded like before that fully took shape is really interesting. Love some of it, and other parts are very raw and unpolished to the point of being unusually basic, but I'm a big fan of Pram's music, so it's all valuable stuff to me. Specifically, the song "Inmate's Clothes"... gripped me. It sounds terrifying, I fucking love it. As for the debut album, I remember not enjoying it much when I listened twice before, because it's a lot more low-key, and thus more obscure and even less accessible than the average Pram album. But now, that's what I find likable about it. "In Dreams You Too Can Fly" stands out because it's 16 minutes long, but the fact that I enjoy it so much all throughout its runtime also makes it the most memorable.

I also just listened to an album called Nektyr by Demen, which was not as experimental as I had hoped but it turned out to be really atmospheric and nice, so I will try to listen again. And a couple of nights ago, I listened to an album called Passionfruit Pastels by In Embrace, which also stood out to me as being quite quirky and surprisingly well put-together. I thought it was just great music, even though I didn't find it very dark-sounding. Discovering new shit and I'm excited about it!!

Oct 2 2023 - Listened to The Top by The Cure. Have never gone and listened to anything other than Seventeen Seconds, Faith, Pornography, and Disintegration by this band, because I felt like I wouldn't like them as much. I definitely didn't like this album as much. It wasn't below average but it's not what I'm into right now. Definitely some interesting instruments going on there. Only Theatre of Pain, by Christian Death, I liked a lot more. Still not quite my thing, and I don't believe I will listen to this much more, but I get why this is a thing. Very dark lyrics, especially for back then, which I really appreciate. Noisy, dissonant. Good stuff.

Sep 27 2023 - It's funny, each subsequent album I have listened to from Grey Gallows I have liked more, but I have listened to them from newest to oldest. HAHAH. I like their older stuff more and I listened to it last. That's all their albums now, at this current time. Because of this album, I now officially have a top 50 goth albums list! Okay, I don't really love like half of them, but I enjoy all of them to at least some extent. In particular, The Cure's Disintegration has very slowly grown on me. I like it more every single time I listen to it. It stands out compared to all of the other stuff I have listened to. It's quite long, the compositions are slow and flowing. Dark, but dimly lit with lanterns on a street. Romantic and beautiful, like the embrace of a skeleton. It's really quality stuff.

Sep 4 2023 - This year for me has mainly been finding more goth. Am now finally on the Lebanon Hanover phase. I tried listening to some of their stuff in the past, I remember, but I wasn't into it. Was too into Twin Tribes specifically at the time to have my mind open enough to enjoy other stuff. But now, The World is Getting Colder feels eerily close to Forever Grey, which is one of my favorite bands. Fucking love that band. The album has what I call that very specific feeling of gloom. I like the minimal darkness. Can definitely see it being one I throw on all the time and consistently enjoy. Will surely make my way through their discography.

Jul 10 2023 - Okay time to finally start typing here. First post! Right now am listening to Picture One by Asylum Party for the first time. I love it. Asylum Party made Borderline, which is one of my favorite albums, simply because I think it's wonderful music. Am feeling the same way about this release, Picture One, which is like a mini album, released a year earlier I think. There's something so effortlessly dreary about their music. Must soon listen to their last album, Mère, if these two are so lovely. Not sure exactly how to describe it. It's kind of subtle, as opposed to being dramatic. Yeah. Asylum Party's music feels like a quiet sadness, a listless melancholy.