23. Am growing up creepie

April 17, 2023 00:55

Mood: Tired

Listening to: Joy Division

Okay. Have decided to start making diary entries on like, notepad files, instead of typing directly into the Neocities code editor. I realized that it felt really awkward to write in that. So am going to try to make this more of a stream of consciousness thing, and hopefully more frequent?

Idk. So yeah am just going to type and stuff, about whatever. That's what a diary is for yeah?

Sooo as for anime, we are currently watching Star Twinkle Precure! I really really like it so far. Also rewatching Jigoku Shoujo, definitively this time. I will give it a rating this time. I watched it back in high school, and have rewatched bits of it over time I think, not remembering how many times or how much.

There are a few anime on my list that I have watched but they were years ago now, so I don't really remember them much. I want to like, have a solid opinion of everything that's on my list. So hoping to rewatch those few ones eventually. I started rewatching Jigoku Shoujo because I wanted a break from watching only cute happy shows, and I was in the mood for something darker instead.

Have been really into the darkness lately in general. Been getting back into more of my artsy endeavors. Writing poetry, and drawing! It feels really good to put effort into making art. It feels like I'm, you know, doing something. I love consuming content but I've got to produce things out of my own head too.

Watched The Addams Family 1991 film recently! I usually don't watch films, let alone live action ones, but I loved this one. It was filled to the brim with EXACTLY my type of dark humor. Especially loved Morticia and Wednesday. And loved their Victorian Neo-Gothic (I think?) mansion. Looked up a tiny bit about Gothic architecture just so I was slightly informed. And just that tiny bit of knowledge about the rib vaults and towers and pointed arches has got me recognizing it in places already.

Also related, I began to continue watching Ruby Gloom. Will just be an occasional thing to put on and stuff. Also found out about a show called Growing Up Creepie, and I really like it! You know, for a Western cartoon. Definitely my thing. The main character's name is Creepie Creecher and she's this tiny odd-looking girl who was raised by a family of bugs. Wicked.

Also been listening to so much goth music. I think I said this last time? I know I said I love Forever Grey. But also been listening to Drab Majesty, which, some people consider goth and some don't I guess?? It's like. In that realm for me at least. And also Corpus Delicti's Twilight. This album is wicked cool. It's taken me a bit to get into because the vocal style makes the lyrics really hard to understand, and for goth music, I need my lyrics. But the more I listen to it, the more I like. I do like certain songs more than others, so it doesn't feel super consistent for me, but there is a song or two on that record that I LOVE. Especially Dust and Fire. Oooooohhhh that song is so beautiful.

Just generally trying to get a lot into goth music. I want to become knowledgeable about goth and gothic things!

As for my art, I finally had an original idea for once, and made a character! Her name is Hex. She's a little orphan girl who starved to death and became a ghost. She's happy at first to die, but then she realizes she can't touch things, so now she has to figure out how to haunt and fuck with people, especially ones that wronged her, and how to wear cute accessories and stuff. Am making a short comic in my sketchbook about like, her origin story. I feel like I'm making a lot of progress into creating my own style of art.

Got tickets for a concert at which The Birthday Massacre is playing at. They are not the headline band, but they're gonna be playing, and I just want to see them play once before I die, at least. So am going. It was a big hassle, but I finally got my first covid shot in time, and going to be getting my second dose before the concert date. It said they MAY need proof of vaccination, and, Idk, it's kind of necessary to get vaccinated anyway. So I did that, finally. Only took me like three years.

Am assuming they're only going to play like, 2 or 3 songs, or something. Hell, even if they only play 1 song, that's worth my money. I've got a whole page dedicated to this band on my website, and every CD they've ever released. I need to see this band live!! Won't believe it's happening until it does, if it does.

Have been reading manga as well. I finished reading all of Creepy Cat, and am very slowly getting through chapters of Tokyo Mew Mew. Mainly reading a manga called Mahou Shoujo ni Akogarete right now. It's about a girl who adores magical girls and is forced to become their villain. But instead of using her powers to actually defeat them, she uses them to satisfy her own lust and newfound sadistic tendencies. It's incredibly sexual and just great all around. Also began reading this one called The Tarot Café. It's kind of cool, not super my thing, but not bad.

Have been super interested in witches lately as well, along with lots of other spooky things. Have been looking up some history and symbolism about things like witches, bats, black cats, vampires, ravens, crows, magic... I already like all of these things, but if asked why I do, I want to be able to give some sort of actual answer other than "Idk they're Halloween themed". I do love Halloween themed things though.... very much. Maybe not pumpkins a whole lot, nor candy corn, aesthetically. But loads of other things.

So yeah, just, have a lot of interests and hobbies and stuff I'm doing currently....... as always. A work in progress human being. After seeing how much is out there, I feel so very far from being the ideal person I'd like to be. Making progress bit by bit every night.

That's one thing I've been thinking about a lot lately. The idea of just doing a tiny bit. It sounds lazy, but it's actually not. Being lazy is doing nothing and not putting any effort in. I do put in effort.... maybe my pace is really slow, but from my perspective, I feel like I'm improving myself every single night. I always have a lot on my mind in terms of who I want to be and what it is that I want to do. What I want out of life. I'm figuring out how to be happier and happier, and loving myself more and more, a little bit more each night.

I may write more and with more in-depth thoughts, depends on how much I feel like it. But this style of diary entry works better for me right meow, I feel. Hehe. Later!